7:00 AM:
I love the morning after yoga day! So refreshed and calm. Hoping for a great day filled with amazing things!
7:05 AM:
Up 2 pounds. :(
9:00 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director wants to plug some Shakeology stuff, so made a bunch of shakes and took pictures of me drinking them. There were like 5 flavors, so I had to have 5 shakes, which was a lot. The Director told me we are allowed to mix stuff in, like kale or carrots or (in my case) Chunky Monkey ice cream. Delicious!
11:30 AM:
Usually I like to get lunch after my Fix workout, but the Director says I need to keep my strength up for cardio. I had 2 fried chickens (vegetarian!), which were delicious but frankly not sitting too well with all the shakes in my tummy. :/
11:40 AM:
Starting cardio. I am a little bit nervous, told the Director I wasn't feeling that great. He said it was okay because I don't look that great either. Not sure what that means, but here we go.
12:00 PM:
Everybody is a little bit unhappy with me. Made it about halfway through my cardio fix and then kind of exploded out of both ends. Autumn was nice about it, told everyone she knew I was a trainwreck :) but the Director was super frustrated. I don't think I will be able to rescue these pants. :(
5:00 PM:
The Director came by and apologized for yelling at me earlier. Such a sweet man! He brought me a couple of Big Macs as a peace offering. I wasn't sure if I could eat that on my plan but he said he looked it up and it was okay. :)
8:00 PM:
Turning in early. I am a little bit tired after my gastrointestinal "whoopsie". Curling up with Mittens to find some George Clooney on Netflix -- hubba hubba!
Monday, April 25, 2016
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Day 14: Ahh, Yoga
6:00 AM:
Up with the sun. Today is our "rest" day, with yoga -- I feel like I have earned it! Been a rough couple of weeks. Hoping to plow through and see some results this coming week. Still have my eye on that bikini in the back of my closet. :)
6:05 AM:
Maybe go with a tankini this season. :( Up 3 pounds.
6:15 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director tells me I need a lot of protein, so gave me 4 pounds of link sausage in my special container. I told him I thought that had a lot of fat, too, but he said with all the exercise that fat will get converted to more protein, and all of the protein turns in to muscle. I was still a little concerned about gaining weight, even if it is muscle, but he said all my new muscles will be so strong they will beat my fat into submission.
10:30 AM:
Ready for yoga. The Director has put a blanket and pillow on my yoga mat, just in case I get sleepy. I told him not a chance -- I am working hard! He crushed up an "energy pill" into a bottle of water and had me drink that. Feeling a little groggy now.
1:00 PM:
Just woke up on my yoga mat. Missing a couple of hours, feels like a date I once went on in college.
1:30 PM:
Late lunch. Hungry after my nap earlier, so filled my special container with some double cheeseburgers from McDonald's. Going to try to treat myself to a movie in the theater, looks like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" is a winner!
2:15 PM:
Got turned away at the theater because they wouldn't let me bring Mittens. "Service Animal" is clearly crocheted on her carry sack, so I'm not sure what part of that they didn't understand. :/
6:30 PM:
Dinner now. Hadn't used my vegetable container yet, so I got a bunch of steamed broccoli. It was pretty bland, so I was looking for some seasoning. The Director reminded me that toppings are free, so I topped it with some shredded pork BBQ.
9:00 PM:
Cuddling with Mittens. Flipping over to Netflix to fall asleep to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", the first one. It's a classic!
Up with the sun. Today is our "rest" day, with yoga -- I feel like I have earned it! Been a rough couple of weeks. Hoping to plow through and see some results this coming week. Still have my eye on that bikini in the back of my closet. :)
6:05 AM:
Maybe go with a tankini this season. :( Up 3 pounds.
6:15 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director tells me I need a lot of protein, so gave me 4 pounds of link sausage in my special container. I told him I thought that had a lot of fat, too, but he said with all the exercise that fat will get converted to more protein, and all of the protein turns in to muscle. I was still a little concerned about gaining weight, even if it is muscle, but he said all my new muscles will be so strong they will beat my fat into submission.
10:30 AM:
Ready for yoga. The Director has put a blanket and pillow on my yoga mat, just in case I get sleepy. I told him not a chance -- I am working hard! He crushed up an "energy pill" into a bottle of water and had me drink that. Feeling a little groggy now.
1:00 PM:
Just woke up on my yoga mat. Missing a couple of hours, feels like a date I once went on in college.
1:30 PM:
Late lunch. Hungry after my nap earlier, so filled my special container with some double cheeseburgers from McDonald's. Going to try to treat myself to a movie in the theater, looks like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" is a winner!
2:15 PM:
Got turned away at the theater because they wouldn't let me bring Mittens. "Service Animal" is clearly crocheted on her carry sack, so I'm not sure what part of that they didn't understand. :/
6:30 PM:
Dinner now. Hadn't used my vegetable container yet, so I got a bunch of steamed broccoli. It was pretty bland, so I was looking for some seasoning. The Director reminded me that toppings are free, so I topped it with some shredded pork BBQ.
9:00 PM:
Cuddling with Mittens. Flipping over to Netflix to fall asleep to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", the first one. It's a classic!
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Day 13: Gettin' Dirty
8:00 AM:
Slept in a little bit. I figure I deserve it after the grueling cardio yesterday. Mittens was not so happy, woke to her batting at my mouth with her little paws. Was cute, then I realized she had just visited the litter box. Yuck!
8:05 AM:
Up 2 pounds. :( I thought after no gain yesterday I might be turning this thing around, but maybe will take a couple of days to stabilize.
8:30 AM:
Breakfast time. It's Dirty 30 day, so the Director is texting me to make sure to carb load. Chugged a box of dry cream of wheat. A little pasty, but I am all fueled up now. :)
10:00 AM:
Time to get dirty! :) I am making lots of innuendo jokes like that on the set to keep the mood cheerful. "Who's a dirty girl?", "I like it dirty folks!", "Fuck me in my dirty ass!", stuff like that. Every group needs a comedian!
10:05 AM:
Autumn just told me my innuendos were making her nauseous and to stop or she would kick my teeth in. That was not super friendly.
10:45 AM:
Workout done. I did my Plunking like before. The Director gave me a couple pillows again, instead of the weights, and also a fitness shake which tastes pretty much exactly like a McDonald's ice cream shake. I can live with THIS kind of fitness!!
12:00 PM:
Lunch now. I was going to go light, but the Director is telling me to keep carb loading. I wasn't sure why, since the workout is already done, but he explained that you have to keep loading for a 24-hour period. He filled my special container with cheese fries, and said if necessary I can get a refill. I hardly think it will be necessary though, this is a lot of fries.
12:20 PM:
My tummy hurts a little. Should not have taken the Director up on that second helping of fries. Or the third.
5:00 PM:
Feeling better, and ready for dinner. Had a few cans of tuna which I split with Mittens. We girls know how to look out for each other! Had a couple cans of Purina too, that stuff IS really tasty.
8:30 PM:
All snuggled up. Watching some Sex & The City. If Carrie ends up with this old ballet guy, I am going to be SO disappointed.
Slept in a little bit. I figure I deserve it after the grueling cardio yesterday. Mittens was not so happy, woke to her batting at my mouth with her little paws. Was cute, then I realized she had just visited the litter box. Yuck!
8:05 AM:
Up 2 pounds. :( I thought after no gain yesterday I might be turning this thing around, but maybe will take a couple of days to stabilize.
8:30 AM:
Breakfast time. It's Dirty 30 day, so the Director is texting me to make sure to carb load. Chugged a box of dry cream of wheat. A little pasty, but I am all fueled up now. :)
10:00 AM:
Time to get dirty! :) I am making lots of innuendo jokes like that on the set to keep the mood cheerful. "Who's a dirty girl?", "I like it dirty folks!", "Fuck me in my dirty ass!", stuff like that. Every group needs a comedian!
10:05 AM:
Autumn just told me my innuendos were making her nauseous and to stop or she would kick my teeth in. That was not super friendly.
10:45 AM:
Workout done. I did my Plunking like before. The Director gave me a couple pillows again, instead of the weights, and also a fitness shake which tastes pretty much exactly like a McDonald's ice cream shake. I can live with THIS kind of fitness!!
12:00 PM:
Lunch now. I was going to go light, but the Director is telling me to keep carb loading. I wasn't sure why, since the workout is already done, but he explained that you have to keep loading for a 24-hour period. He filled my special container with cheese fries, and said if necessary I can get a refill. I hardly think it will be necessary though, this is a lot of fries.
12:20 PM:
My tummy hurts a little. Should not have taken the Director up on that second helping of fries. Or the third.
5:00 PM:
Feeling better, and ready for dinner. Had a few cans of tuna which I split with Mittens. We girls know how to look out for each other! Had a couple cans of Purina too, that stuff IS really tasty.
8:30 PM:
All snuggled up. Watching some Sex & The City. If Carrie ends up with this old ballet guy, I am going to be SO disappointed.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Day 12: Fuck, more Cardio
6:00 AM:
Dreading today a little bit. Cardio days are not my best days. :/ I don't really have a body type that is well suited to that kind of workout. I guess that is why I signed up for the program though. I am all in! Hoping to see some results soon.
6:05 AM:
Same weight as yesterday. Haven't gained anything, so maybe I am turning the corner. :)
8:30 AM:
Breakfast time. Started out with half an English muffin. The Director showed up with a bucket of sausage links, but had to make a call to the Legal Department first. Said something about a signature in place and all good, then told me sausage is a great workout fuel for the heart. He's the boss!
9:30 AM:
Starting cardio, ready to burn baby burn!!
10:10 AM:
Blacked out somewhere in the middle of Jumping Johns. Don't really remember the past 20 minutes, and I feel like I am maybe only breathing with one of my lungs.
12:00 PM:
Lunch time. I was trying to eat light after that little episode, but the Director says he doesn't want me wasting away to nothing so brought me a half rack of ribs. Have to admit, they WERE delicious.
6:00 PM:
Dinner now. Had a few more ribs, and a salad. Was out of lettuce so I substituted fried chicken as my vegetable. Fed Mittens also. Not saying I DID sneak some Purina, but not saying I DIDN'T either. ;)
9:00 AM:
Turning in early. "Titanic" is on HBO, and you KNOW how I feel about my Leonardo. :)
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Day 11: Pilates Again!
7:00 AM:
Up bright and early for Pilates day! This is one of my favorites, I like getting my limber on. I am feeling slinky already! ;)
7:05 AM:
Up 2 pounds. :/
8:10 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director told me I should "carb load", so lots of bagels stuffed in my container. I feel a little bloated, but the Director says that is what we are shooting for.
10:00 AM:
Pilates time. Ready to get my flex on... look out, here comes the "Trainwreck"!
10:35 AM:
I'm not sure I'm getting the full benefit of this program as "The Modifier". I started doing all the stretchy stuff, but Autumn was like "whoa... let's slow it down for the slower learners at home." So I ended up mostly just lying there, while the Director brought me cocktail weenies from catering. Autumn assures me I'm still working hard though.
12:45 PM:
Lunchtime. The Director treated me to a fancy lunch at T.G.I. Friday's. Such a sweet man! He said I needed to make sure I stayed hydrated, so got a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea. Delicious! I was feeling a little bit loopy, so kept my guard up in case he tried anything romantic. Although, just between us girls, I wouldn't have put up much of a fight. ;) Between the free-flowing cocktails and the 90s pop rock songs playing over the bar, I would have been all over him like stink on a monkey. Then he pulled out some legal papers, something about a medical release for Cardio tomorrow. Not sure. But I was ready to release pretty much anything at that point.
2:30 PM:
Barfed all over the backseat of the Uber ride back to my apartment. :(
6:30 PM:
Dinner. Hungry as a horse after the Uber incident. Picked up a rotisserie chicken, but I wanted to count it as a vegetable so had to deep fry it first.
9:30 PM:
Tucking in with Mittens. "Honey Boo Boo" is on. I can SO relate to that family. :)
Up bright and early for Pilates day! This is one of my favorites, I like getting my limber on. I am feeling slinky already! ;)
7:05 AM:
Up 2 pounds. :/
8:10 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director told me I should "carb load", so lots of bagels stuffed in my container. I feel a little bloated, but the Director says that is what we are shooting for.
10:00 AM:
Pilates time. Ready to get my flex on... look out, here comes the "Trainwreck"!
10:35 AM:
I'm not sure I'm getting the full benefit of this program as "The Modifier". I started doing all the stretchy stuff, but Autumn was like "whoa... let's slow it down for the slower learners at home." So I ended up mostly just lying there, while the Director brought me cocktail weenies from catering. Autumn assures me I'm still working hard though.
12:45 PM:
Lunchtime. The Director treated me to a fancy lunch at T.G.I. Friday's. Such a sweet man! He said I needed to make sure I stayed hydrated, so got a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea. Delicious! I was feeling a little bit loopy, so kept my guard up in case he tried anything romantic. Although, just between us girls, I wouldn't have put up much of a fight. ;) Between the free-flowing cocktails and the 90s pop rock songs playing over the bar, I would have been all over him like stink on a monkey. Then he pulled out some legal papers, something about a medical release for Cardio tomorrow. Not sure. But I was ready to release pretty much anything at that point.
2:30 PM:
Barfed all over the backseat of the Uber ride back to my apartment. :(
6:30 PM:
Dinner. Hungry as a horse after the Uber incident. Picked up a rotisserie chicken, but I wanted to count it as a vegetable so had to deep fry it first.
9:30 PM:
Tucking in with Mittens. "Honey Boo Boo" is on. I can SO relate to that family. :)
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Day 10: Fixing My Lowers
6:00 AM:
Up bright and early, and holy moley do my arms hurt! Yesterday was a big workout for me. I can practically feel the pounds pouring off -- feeling motivated!
6:05 AM:
Shit. Up one pound. :(
6:30 AM:
Breakfast time. I really want to go light this morning. Half a grapefruit, and a couple of almonds.
6:35 AM:
The Director stopped by to fill my special container with biscuits and gravy. Guilty pleasure of mine, but I was firm and said I really wanted to cut some calories. He told me he might have to strap on a feed bag. I thought he was joking, but then he pulled out an actual feed bag. :/ I said okay to the biscuits and gravy. He told me it's really important as "The Modifier" to not screw around with the system. Trusting him for now, but seems a little sketchy.
10:30 AM;
Ready to work my "lowers". I'm assuming that is Leg Day again, but a girl can hope. :)
11:05 AM:
Yes, just the legs. :/ Autumn gave me a chair and had me do "sits" while the others did squats. I tried to get up and work along with the squatters, but she gave me a dirty look and asked if I was going to be a problem child. She's the expert, I guess.
12:30 PM:
Lunch time. I'm really hungry, even after the biscuits and gravy, so swung by Hardee's for a Thickburger. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window, the guy said the person behind me in line had paid, and gave me two free burgers. I look back, and there is the Director giving me thumbs up. Such a sweet man!
5:45 PM:
Dinner with Mittens. I had a vegetable left, so went with a bucket of KFC. The girl at the counter was confused when I mentioned I was going with the vegetarian option, guessing she didn't know about frying the meat out.
9:00 PM:
Snuggled up and watching old "Golden Girls" reruns. That Blanche is one spicy tomato!
Up bright and early, and holy moley do my arms hurt! Yesterday was a big workout for me. I can practically feel the pounds pouring off -- feeling motivated!
6:05 AM:
Shit. Up one pound. :(
6:30 AM:
Breakfast time. I really want to go light this morning. Half a grapefruit, and a couple of almonds.
6:35 AM:
The Director stopped by to fill my special container with biscuits and gravy. Guilty pleasure of mine, but I was firm and said I really wanted to cut some calories. He told me he might have to strap on a feed bag. I thought he was joking, but then he pulled out an actual feed bag. :/ I said okay to the biscuits and gravy. He told me it's really important as "The Modifier" to not screw around with the system. Trusting him for now, but seems a little sketchy.
10:30 AM;
Ready to work my "lowers". I'm assuming that is Leg Day again, but a girl can hope. :)
11:05 AM:
Yes, just the legs. :/ Autumn gave me a chair and had me do "sits" while the others did squats. I tried to get up and work along with the squatters, but she gave me a dirty look and asked if I was going to be a problem child. She's the expert, I guess.
12:30 PM:
Lunch time. I'm really hungry, even after the biscuits and gravy, so swung by Hardee's for a Thickburger. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window, the guy said the person behind me in line had paid, and gave me two free burgers. I look back, and there is the Director giving me thumbs up. Such a sweet man!
5:45 PM:
Dinner with Mittens. I had a vegetable left, so went with a bucket of KFC. The girl at the counter was confused when I mentioned I was going with the vegetarian option, guessing she didn't know about frying the meat out.
9:00 PM:
Snuggled up and watching old "Golden Girls" reruns. That Blanche is one spicy tomato!
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Day 9: Upper Fixing It
6:30 AM:
Up with the sun! I think I am hitting my stride with this program. Had a cup of cottage cheese. The Director reminded me that fruits are practically free, so filled my special container with strawberry jelly. Delicious, and I am feeling motivated!
8:00 AM:
Also feeling a little heavy. Up 2 pounds. :/
8:30 AM:
I mentioned to the Director that I was still a little nervous about not seeing any weight loss. Or, to be more exact, 20 pounds of weight gain. He mentioned that Rome wasn't built in a day, and that my case in particular is probably a little more effort. I told him I wanted to look good for beach season. He said I would "certainly be something" and that if I did get down to the beach, maybe keep an eye out for whalers. I'm assuming they get like sailors on shore leave or something -- in which case, sign this girl up!
10:30 AM:
Ready to work the arms. Let's do this!
11:05 AM:
Don't mean to brag, but I rocked that! Had to do some serious planking (well, "plunking"). I didn't really feel like I was pushing my limits, but Autumn said to relax and that I was working plenty hard. I asked if maybe I should be lifting my stomach off the ground, but she said "let's not get too crazy" and said as long as I wasn't rolling around on the floor I should be good.
12:30 PM:
A little bit of a late lunch. The Director had filled my special container with bacon double cheeseburgers, which I thought might not be the best nutritional choice but he assures me it is good arm fuel. He says it's what truckers eat, and they arm wrestle all the time, so maybe there is something to that.
5:30 PM:
A romantic dinner for two -- me and my girl Mittens! Had a small piece of grilled chicken, a quarter cup of broccoli, and split 3 cans of Purina with Mittens.
8:30 PM:
Tucking in early to get rested for tomorrow. Leg day, I think. I am feeling optimistic! :) Putting on some Dr. Phil that I DVR'd from this afternoon. I have never met Dr. Phil, but I feel like we are on the same wavelength -- that man gets me, for sure!
Up with the sun! I think I am hitting my stride with this program. Had a cup of cottage cheese. The Director reminded me that fruits are practically free, so filled my special container with strawberry jelly. Delicious, and I am feeling motivated!
8:00 AM:
Also feeling a little heavy. Up 2 pounds. :/
8:30 AM:
I mentioned to the Director that I was still a little nervous about not seeing any weight loss. Or, to be more exact, 20 pounds of weight gain. He mentioned that Rome wasn't built in a day, and that my case in particular is probably a little more effort. I told him I wanted to look good for beach season. He said I would "certainly be something" and that if I did get down to the beach, maybe keep an eye out for whalers. I'm assuming they get like sailors on shore leave or something -- in which case, sign this girl up!
10:30 AM:
Ready to work the arms. Let's do this!
11:05 AM:
Don't mean to brag, but I rocked that! Had to do some serious planking (well, "plunking"). I didn't really feel like I was pushing my limits, but Autumn said to relax and that I was working plenty hard. I asked if maybe I should be lifting my stomach off the ground, but she said "let's not get too crazy" and said as long as I wasn't rolling around on the floor I should be good.
12:30 PM:
A little bit of a late lunch. The Director had filled my special container with bacon double cheeseburgers, which I thought might not be the best nutritional choice but he assures me it is good arm fuel. He says it's what truckers eat, and they arm wrestle all the time, so maybe there is something to that.
5:30 PM:
A romantic dinner for two -- me and my girl Mittens! Had a small piece of grilled chicken, a quarter cup of broccoli, and split 3 cans of Purina with Mittens.
8:30 PM:
Tucking in early to get rested for tomorrow. Leg day, I think. I am feeling optimistic! :) Putting on some Dr. Phil that I DVR'd from this afternoon. I have never met Dr. Phil, but I feel like we are on the same wavelength -- that man gets me, for sure!
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