7:00 AM:
Dirty 30 day! Excited, this is one of my favorites. And only one more day to go!! I am in the home stretch. Not sure if I will be able to drop all 32 pounds that I have gained so far between today and tomorrow, but can't blame a girl for trying! Let's get dirty!
7:05 AM:
Damn. Up another pound. Tomorrow is yoga day, which doesn't really burn a lot of calories for me, so I am going to have to work like a dog if I'm going to try and lose most of these 34 pounds today.
8:00 AM:
Breakfast time. The Director is trying to feed me three pounds of link sausage. :/ Dropped some innuendo about how I'm a dirty girl and I can take his link sausage however he wants to give it, but he threatened to call my Union rep so I am trying to behave now. I told him I didn't think the sausages would help me drop this weight. He prepared a couple of gallons of his secret weight loss formula and said to just drink that over the course of the day. Not sure if I can stomach it all, but will give it a shot. Drank a quart for breakfast along with a banana and a grapefruit. I pantomimed an oral sexual act with the banana and the grapefruit, the Director was not amused. Promised again to behave.
10:30 AM:
Starting my Dirty 30 workout. Autumn is in a foul mood again, hopefully I can cheer her up. I announced "here comes the Trainwreck!" when I walked in to the studio, but she didn't seem too excited about that.
11:05 AM:
The workout didn't go exactly as I had planned. I tried to slyly swap out my pillows for actual weights, but Autumn wasn't having it. So I tried to exercise double-time, but broke out in a bunch of sweat and Autumn noticed and reprimanded me. I told her I liked it dirty, but she just said I smelled like a rotting carcass and to sit still and try not to get in the way. :/ So I did, but also secretly flexed my pelvic muscles so I could still burn some calories. Then that was actually pretty hot, and I was "getting there" if you know what I am saying. But it was awkward, because the wardrobe kid Jimmy tapped me on the shoulder to ask if I needed a towel right as I was finishing up, and I just kind of twitched and grunted at him.
12:00 PM:
Lunch time. Still working through the weight loss drink, so skipped lunch and drank a gallon of that. It feels like I swallowed a bowling ball.
5:00 PM:
Time for dinner, but truthfully I am still pretty full from trying to choke down this weight loss stuff all day. All I have to say is I better be blazing off some calories with this shit, it tastes horrible. I did manage to eat a couple of KFC drumsticks. Split some Purina with Mittens but I am thinking that may have been a mistake because I can feel it coming back up. :/
9:00 PM:
Just spent an hour and a half in the bathroom. I may have lost most of that 34 pounds after all. Going to try and relax with Mittens and watch the Home Shopping channel. I have my eye on a pearl necklace. Kind of wish the Director was around, I could make all sorts of jokes about that. Probably not a good idea though, with the mood he has been in lately.
